Starting with the end of "the good life" - today we lost the innocence of my 6-year-old daughter when she learned the F-bomb from a kid at school; and our not-quite-2-and-a-half-year-old decided he can all of a sudden pole vault out of his crib. I have one word for all of THAT - but I am trying to set a good example; one better than the kid at school set today.
I love that my daughter feels safe enough to approach my husband and I about questions about what she has heard at school. The worst part is trying not to laugh at her when she looks you in the eye at the dinner table and says "what word does this mean?" and hold up her middle finger. We said we weren't sure but we knew it was not nice and not something little girls do. She admitted who she heard it from at school, and we encouraged her not to share her 'finger moves' with any other children. She seemed to take everything seriously and we moved on in conversation. After the younger boys had finished and left the table, she turned to my husband and as clear as a bell, with a face straighter then Hitler's, and a curiosity that killed 12 cats said, "well, do you know what the word F*#K means?" (Because we were obviously stupid enough not to know what the middle finger meant; which I am guessing she already knew meant the F-word!)
My darling husband has a bad poker face; when he is uncomfortable or shocked or in trouble he smiles, or worse, he laughs. This sort of thing might get a person in trouble with authority, wives, and today, daughters. Yes, yes he did. He laughed out loud as she asked her question again. The shock of the clearest, sweetest use of the F-word rolled off my daughter's tongue and slapped my husband on the funny bone. Now, I admit, I also smiled for a small second because, let's face it, although this is quite tragic, I am hoping you can also see how hilarious it is. Pure innocence, totally and simply inquiring as to what the meaning of this strange word was.
To make light of the laughing encouragement, my husband did explain to her how it wasn't funny but, "I laugh when I am uncomfortable, and it is very shocking to hear someone so young say that word." I could go on and on explaining how we explained to her how naughty this word is. For example, “If you say it to a police officer you will go to jail." To which she replied, "even kids?" We said "yes." :) You get the idea...
After 5 minutes of explaining away why not to say it, and how we would have to tell her teacher about the kid who taught her the word, she said "he also calls it the F-word." Commence the second 5-minute round of explanations. After all of this, she simply said, "okay but what does it MEAN?" Sigh. We said, "it doesn't really mean anything. It's just a dirty nasty word." I mean - she would have been scarred for life if we had told her all the context and meanings of the F-word! So versatile is that one...
I am happy to announce that my darling daughter was already in bed when that choice F-bomb dropped out of my mouth when my 2-year-old appeared in the hall after we had put him to bed. I was hoping it was simply a scary-movie-come-to-life when babies crawl walls or whatever. Alas, it was truly the tiny human who is apparently slightly less tiny then yesterday, but 10 times more stubborn. Thank God for the video monitor - my husband and I stood outside his door and went in every time he got up to try to climb out. I like to think that tiny human was thinking, "How the F do they know what I am doing?" HAHAHA the joke is on you, kid. Third time's a charm; mom and dad are smarter than at least one kid. For now!
In ending, I am just proud to say that my daughter respects the F word and has no intention of spreading awareness or using it at all. I am most delighted in the fact that she felt safe enough in our relationship with her to ask us about the F-word, and when we asked her where she heard it she DID NOT say, “You!”
